The phrase keep your friends close and your enemies closer means to keep a sharp eye on enemies beyond what one might have on their companions, to be careful about the actions taken by enemies, it’s not a best idea to trouble your enemies, be affectionate with them but stay alert, another meaning could be, don’t hurt your enemies by words or behavior to keep them quiet and inoffensive.
The phrase “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” IIRC, arises from a poor English translation of Machiavelli’s letters. The quote is generally allocated to him. I could be wrong (and often am), however. Edit: FWIW, the phrase does not come from the Shakespeare or from Bible.
Reasons for keeping your enemies closer
In the business and organizational setting, I allude to “enemy” as an individual you have to interact with, someone who’s competing for your expedient, who doesn’t follow through on his allegiances, whom you don’t believe, with whom the “bonding” isn’t there, or who altercates with your view from the ground up. These are also individuals whom you’ll require in order to get your own personal and business objectives. As both a consultant and manager, I’ve found a number of individuals who fit in that same box. Briefly I’ve found Machiavelli very helpful for my own success.
But there are a number of tremendously essential reasons for keeping your enemies closer:
1. You can learn a lot from people you dislike
To be sure, my greatest learning doesn’t always come from companions. Often it’s from enemies, adversaries or fence-sitters. They bring a distinct worldview, perspective and ideas on a subject of common interest. There are a lot of times when such an individual can assist to better my position and thinking on a problem.
2. You have to keep your enemies close to understand their perspective and interests
One of the convincing strategies I learned from Bill Howell years ago was the significance of making a highly representative “panel” of generally about six people who would indicate the diversity of allegiances or opinions on a problem. If I could shape my proposal in such a way to persuade the self-interests of each of those six, I was good on the journey toward success. That demand, definitely, meant that each individual had to be close enough to me to be best understood. Actually, I usually comprehended my opponents better than my friends.
3. When your enemies are close, it’s easier for your allies to work with you
Enemies are often the least supportive in exploring your ideas. Furthermore, your enemies may have just as much problem with your enemy as you, and that is the reason you’re friends. However, your enemies will respect you and find it uncomplicated to work with you if they know you really comprehend the lay of the land–and how to attract to your enemy’s self-interest.
Forming the motives of your enemy includes an important amount of assumption. One of the ideal ways to get to know that individual is to listen to how he goes about convincing others. Human beings want the world to be consistent with their assumptions and in accordance with their predictions. So when they endeavor to convince others, they utilize strategies that would be persuasive to them. Notice them, listen to them and examine what they say and how they say it. From that you can frequently figure out their values and their interest.
Finally, it required to be said that you can’t keep your enemy near to you except if you realize how to disagree pleasantly, comprehend and share at least some of your enemy’s values or interests, are often clear with your disparities and are willing to interact with that individual in a social circumstance. In such settings it’s necessary to discover what that individual wants that you can provide them. Secondly, it’s just as essential to figure out the assets you have to bring them in order that they’ll provide you what you need. Don’t forget that some of the assets each of us has are data and contacts.
In summation, if you look inside enough, there are always a few values and interests you share with your opponents. Many of us like to talk about our disparities, but in reality we are all far more similar than different. Naturally also, that means that you know how to really speak. However, this also suggests that you can observe and listen as though that individual is the only other individual on the planet. Machiavelli is front lobe stuff: keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
How can you keep your enemies closer?
You can keep your enemies closer by the following four ways.
Encountering your enemies is generally a waste of time and a bad talkative move. They’ve got their perspectives and in a great percentage of cases you’re not going to alter their mind anyway. You may feel comfortable by encountering them, but that won’t make the issue go away. Sure, there are adventures when confrontation is convenient, but they are infrequent. And sometimes encountering is another form of suicide.
Furthermore disregarding these people is also a bad move. I was an associate minister to a great guy who disregarded his enemies, expecting they’d ultimately be shown incorrect and fall on their faces. Instead, they worked behind his back, building support for their own perspectives and commitments—and made a lot of difficulty for my partner.
Years of experience indicates that the ideal way to deal with your opponents is with compassion and care. The Yale law professor, Stephen Carter, says that the only way to deal with these individual is with compassion. That’s a bit much for me, but I’ve found it necessary to move in that direction rather than capitulate to the inclination of disgust and anger. That kind of relentless makes me a person worst. It charges my emotions and makes it hard for me to concentrate on the strategic and compact matters of life.
Meet your enemies with heartfelt, empathetic listening—an unearned gift to that individual. Usually, enemies are not ideal men (or women). Actually, they’re sad and lonely, which frequently arises from injure pride and a feeling of being disregarded. It’s very necessary that they be heard. So, repeating what they say, and then paraphrasing is infrequently overdone. “So, you’re saying that. . .?” And “By that you mean. . .?” If you let these persons know they’ve been heard, you’ll often address the problems that are at the root of your differences.
If you listen diligently you’ll regularly find things of great value to yourself. You’ll gain fresh insights that you’ve add and missed to your store of data. I’ve taught far too many business person who believe that their opponent has nothing of value. So, they go through the listening process entirely to conciliate their enemies. That’s seriously superficial, ruinous conceit.
Keeping your enemies closer can often lead to your enemy becoming a valued partner, if not a friend. One of the astonishing, but general response, is that your opponents can become very defensive of you. On various occasions, even though my former “enemy” continued his dissent, she or he was the same individual who protected me to his colleagues.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some frequently asked questions regarding keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
How do I ignore my enemies?
Ignore comments or behavior enemies use to taunt you or evoke a reaction from you.
Reject any negativity they project on you.
1. Don’t take his/her comments to heart.
2. Think of positive thoughts, experiences, places or people.
3. Be the master of your own happiness. You decide who to avoid and who to listen to.
How to Defeat Your Enemies?
Try to comprehend your enemy. All of your enemies have not been created the same.
Observe them carefully
Avoid your enemy as much as possible
Turn cold towards them
Learn to defend yourself
Find out their weakness
Why should we love our enemies?
When we love our enemies, they put you on our knees more often in prayer. Your friends will not signifies your faults, however your enemies will. That will assist you in the long run. Your enemies will make you see what must be modified in your life whereas your friends will overlook your faults.
How do you talk to your enemy?
Listen before you judge.
Start with respect.
Be honest. It’s OK if you don’t agree.
Find whatever common ground you can.
The phrase keep your friends close and your enemies closer means to keep a sharp eye on enemies beyond what one might have on their companions. The phrase “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” IIRC, arises from a poor English translation of Machiavelli’s letters. There are a number of tremendously essential reasons for keeping your enemies closer:
- You can learn a lot from people you dislike
- You have to keep your enemies close to understand their perspective and interests
- When your enemies are close, it’s easier for your allies to work with you
You can keep your enemies closer by encountering your enemies in a respectable manner. Second, meet your enemies with heartfelt, empathetic listening an unearned gift to that individual. Third, if you listen to them diligently you’ll regularly find things of great value to yourself. Fourth, keeping your enemies closer can often lead to your enemy becoming a valued partner.