When a narcissist sees you cry, how does he react? When a narcissist sees you cry, they won’t feel bad for you. As a replacement, you might expect anger, invalidation, blame, projection, punishment, and gas lighting. Since the narcissist is incapable of genuine empathy, kindness, or compassion, it is extremely inconvenient for them to witness your tears. Even more so if the person or event that made you cry serves no purpose to the narcissist.
What’s Behind Narcissism?
You see, they were compelled to experience all of the negative aspects of themselves while they were still in touch with their True Self. Of those scars, rejection, abandonment, and complete unworthiness were at the forefront.
Simply put, their brain was unable to accept the fact that they share our flaws as flawed beings. As a result of their inability to acknowledge their suffering and traumas, they unintentionally gave up on being their true selves.
All that was left was their ego, which fashioned a False Self to shield them from the reality that they vehemently reject. They are unique and superior to everyone else in their delusion, which is the exact opposite of who they are at their core.
Their False Self is a delusionary reality, which is its main flaw. It doesn’t exist, though. Therefore, the narcissist needs regular confirmation from the outside environment that their reality is “real” for that phony reality to continue to appear clear to them.
Attention is how the narcissist’s ego keeps the manufactured illusion inflated. The narcissist welcomes all attention, whether positive or negative, as it all helps to validate their sense of self-existence.
Two Categories of Tears
There are two possible sources for your tears, and each one will cause the narcissist to respond in a very different way.
Tears caused by other people or situations
It’s interesting to note that narcissists despise tears that are brought on by unrelated events. The narcissist does not care if you are weeping because your animal just died or if you are experiencing problems with a coworker.
It is terrible if you are shedding tears of joy because your friend recently had a kid or your favorite band is playing in town. You need to stop crying because if someone else is the reason for your joy or happiness, that in no way benefits the narcissist.
The narcissist will certainly despise you if you’re crying because you’re in pain or ill. The anticipation that they will take care of you in some way goes along with your illness or injury. The narcissist has no desire in assisting you in your hour of need because doing so would put a tremendous burden on them, which they would decline to do.
Tears caused by the narcissist
It’s a different situation if you’re crying in response to something the narcissist said or did. Let’s utilize happy tears as our starting point. You will feed the narcissist and boost their false self’s image if they are the ones making you cry in a happy and overwhelmed manner.
Your strong display of happiness in response to the narcissist’s words or deeds demonstrates to them that they have control over you because they can elicit such responses from you. They feel strong because of the encouragement and vigor you give them at that very moment. The sense of power a narcissist feels increases significantly if they can inflict such suffering, rage, despair, and frustration on someone who cares deeply about them.
It’s simple enough for someone we love to bring happiness, but we never anticipate them inflicting such severe suffering on us. Because they have control over your emotions, narcissists can feed themselves with enormous amounts of supply because they can make you submit.
Summary:
If a narcissist sees you crying, they won’t feel bad for you. As a replacement, you might expect anger, invalidation, blame, projection, punishment, and gas lighting. Since the narcissist is incapable of genuine empathy, kindness, or compassion, it is inconvenient for them to witness your tears.
Reactions to Expect When a Narcissist Sees You Cry
Anger & Resentment
You may be sure that when a narcissist sees you crying, they won’t approach you with compassion but rather with wrath. The narcissist not only doesn’t understand your intense feelings but also finds them annoying. Just keep in mind that everything in the narcissist’s world must be about them, and by crying, you are stealing their thunder.
The only reason a narcissist ever cries is to deceive other people because they are incapable of having true empathy, kindness, love, or compassion. Narcissists instinctively presume that you are sobbing to manipulate them because they truly believe that everyone acts exactly like them.
Being dominated is the one thing a narcissist cannot bear. How can anyone attempt to control them when they are the god who holds the power? When a narcissist watches you weep, their fake selves lash out at the kind of spiteful behavior that is so typical of them. This causes them to become angry and enraged.
Even though you are aware that your tears are coming from real sorrow and grief, the narcissist is unable to understand this because those real emotions don’t exist in their reality.
Smugness and/ or Arousal
Narcissists truly don’t comprehend the emotional causes of your tears, but there is one result that they can enjoy. The topic I’m referring to is power. Power is what narcs crave because it gives them a sense of immense significance and importance.
Therefore, if you see a narcissist grinning or acting quite smug about themselves when you look at them, it’s because your tears have empowered them. They’re not necessarily grinning because of the power, though. The great feeling they’re experiencing on the inside as a result of the high narcissistic supply being given to them is more likely what triggers the unintentional smile.
Some narcissists can have such a strong increase in supply from making you hurt that they may even become arouse by it. This might be the case if you get into a heated disagreement with a narcissist who is vicious and vengeful, but it always ends with you having the most incredible make-up sex.
When a narcissist shows you any kind of love or interest after being abusive, your body releases happy chemicals like oxytocin, which makes the codependent feel good. This chemical rush, which offers such great comfort from the pain you were just feeling moments before, can also make you feel turned on.
Blame-shifting
The narcissist’s fake self has conjured up such a lofty image to shield them from the reality that they are flawed people like everyone else A narcissist may have a severe narcissist injury (inner wound) when they witness you crying and learn that it is because of something they have said or done. Any criticism aimed at the narcissist will be rejected outright and reflected on you.
The ego now perceives you as the cause of devastation rather than itself. The ego seeks to eliminate the issue as quickly as possible, which entails eliminating you by holding you responsible for everything.
No matter how much proof you provide the narcissist that they are the ones who committed the crimes and not you, you will never be able to argue with them because it is psychologically impossible. No matter how ludicrous their behavior is, they will always find excuses to justify it.
False Empathy
Depending on the stage of the relationship you’re in, the narcissist may pretend to feel your pain when you’re unhappy. Since they want you to believe they genuinely have that expertise, they will particularly exploit the false compassion throughout the love period. But it’s only an act of manipulation.
If the narcissist knows they made you weep and they know it, they can try to trick you into believing they are your savior. Your psychological state will be disturbed by this, which will strengthen your relationship with the trauma.
For instance, they might have completely lost their cool with you for no apparent reason, forcing you to sob uncontrollably. Their erratic and unstable behavior has utterly destroyed your neurological system.
Then they’ll approach you pretending to be able to relieve your suffering while professing fake empathy and compassion. They will be attempting to erase the memory of the abuse they just committed on you, which is what initially caused the anguish, during this process.
Invalidation
A narcissist will attempt to minimize and downplay your experience as soon as they notice you crying. They must minimize your emotions and worries to train you over time to think that you are unimportant.
Summary:
When a narcissist watches you weep, their fake selves lash out at the kind of spiteful behavior that is so typical of them. This causes them to become angry and enraged.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Following are some of the important questions:
1: What happens when you stop reacting to a narcissist?
A narcissist may grow outraged and strive even hard to get your attention if you ignore them and refuse them their source, especially in ways that might be harmful or abusive. A narcissist’s fragile ego will make them angry if you ignore them. They’ll become embarrassed and attack you to defend themselves.
2: Why do narcissists enjoy seeing you in distress?
Finally, conclusions. Highly narcissistic individuals detest witnessing other people’s joy. It’s because they are unable to truly feel happy themselves. Your enjoyment will be justified by a variety of bizarre beliefs and arguments that they will use to justify your aggressiveness against them.
3: What occurs when an empath breaks away from a narcissist?
Be prepared for everything and everything a narcissist may attempt to make you appear crazy, dumb, or unstable if you have been healed as an empath and have left them. They are the insecure ones, and they will use triangulation and other people to project that instability onto you in an effort to get you to return to them.
4: What may depress a narcissist?
Having damaged interpersonal connections is a sign of narcissism since healthy relationships call for reciprocity, fairness, vulnerability, and trust. The narcissist’s main coping strategy is to direct his emotions toward a close person target in order to get rid of unhappy feelings.
5: What happens when a dark empath and a narcissist cross path?
The art of lying has been refined by narcissists and dark empaths. While a dark empath’s deceptive nature may lead them to tell pleasant lies to come across as empathetic, a narcissist’s craving for praise may drive them to brag about their fictitious accomplishments.
6: How do you annoy a narcissist?
Put simply, anything that threatens their fundamental demand for dominance can annoy them very easily. You need to look no further than offering a narcissist nothing at all if you want to know how to enrage them.
7: How are narcissists with money?
They use money as punishment. Money is frequently used by narcissists as a form of punishment. When you follow their wishes, they might give you money, but when they feel retaliated against, they might withhold it. This may seem unsettling, humiliating, and unclear.
8: What alters a narcissist due to lack of contact?
Narcissists could explode into a full-blown rage if we continue to ignore them by telling them “no” or cutting off all contact with them. They use this wrath as a coping method to deal with us avoiding them or declining their requests. We reject narcissists because we believe they are imperfect.
9: Does a narcissist regret losing you?
People with narcissistic personality disorders frequently express regret after dismissing or losing someone, however, this does not necessarily signify what you may assume. They did not hurt you if they feel regret. It is due to them losing something important to them.
10: How may a narcissist be provoked?
Tease, mock, and embarrass them cruelly for not attempting to discern right from wrong and instead acting as though they already know. Keep your cool and even be friendly to the person hiding behind their utter narcissism and false infallibility. Keep it light, even funny. It’s not personal at all.
Conclusion:
If a narcissist sees you crying, they won’t feel bad for you. As a replacement, you might expect anger, invalidation, blame, projection, punishment, and gas lighting. Since the narcissist is incapable of genuine empathy, kindness, or compassion, it is inconvenient for them to witness your tears. Narcissists instinctively presume that you are sobbing in an effort to manipulate them. You will feed the narcissist and boost their false self’s image if they are the ones making you cry.
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